I kept a daily journal of thoughts while on this trip. I have provided a paraphrase of some of the notes I took. Most of the content is already in the blog, but what is not in the blog is just how terrible my mood was at the start of this trip.
Following are a few notes from certain days...
April 23 - Day 2 First day was terrible. Second day was worse. Horrible riding conditions. So far this is NOT fun. I needed this so much and focused onit so much that now that I am in it, I feel disoriented. All I can think is "28 days to go..." I am so gut level lonesome for my family. Right now I feel selfish and guilty. I know this trip is going to teach me much, but I think the lessons might be different that I expect. (How right that would turn out to be!)
April 24 - Day 3 Had nightmares last night. Rode the Old Ore Trail. I recounted the problems associated with dehydration in the blog, so I will skip it here.
April 26 - Day 5 Trip sayings: Just because it sux does not mean it is not fun. Just because it is hot does not mean it is not cool. "Somos Panochitos".
April 27 - Day 6 Recovered from dehydration and take first ride. Rode well. Talked to Beth and Boo. They gave me the peace to go ahead and change my mind and continue this trip in peace and confidence. I AM BACK!
May 2 - Day 11 This is the day on Route 16 to Hermosillo. My journal recounts my extreme stress level over the difficulty of this road. It fried my nerves. "The fear factor was extreme." "Absolutely stupid scary." My final note of the day said it well. "Days like today let you know you are alive. You cannot live a day like today and not grab life by the neck and wring every last drop out of it. Today is what I came here for."
May 5 - Day 14 Drank a bottle of El Jimador with the night guard at the hotel in San Carlos. He was a cool guy. But I had to pay him 50 pesos to "watch" my bike, even though it was in a lockedfenced area. You can never have too much security, I guess.
May 7 - Day 16 "Sometimes a crappy day can instantly turn around into a perfect day. That is what happened when we rode in to El Quelite today."
May 10 - Day 19 In a curvy part of the road on Devil's Spine, we meet a Ford Explorer. There is a kid hanging his head out the window blowing chunks as Daddy takes the curve on two wheels. We laugh so hard we have to pull over. After we gather ourselves back together we go on, and a few hundred feet down the road, we see where the kid puked even earlier. He had pineapple for breakfast.
May 13 - day 22 Riding through desert near Ciudad Camargo, we see numerous huge tornado like dust devils. Some persist for 10 or more minutes. Very spectacular, but we are not able to get very close to them. Probably saw 10 of them.
May 14 - Day 23 Went back to Big Bend. Re-rode the Old Ore Trail. Did not dehydrate this time! Got out to road at dark. Started raining cats and dogs. Got soaked.
May 15 - Day 24 This is the last rest day before the push back home, and I take the time to write a lengthy retrospective of the trip. Here are the highlights.
1. To say this trip was the "best in my life" would be wrong. But it was definitely the most stimulating mentally, emotionally, and physically. Continuing after the dehydration episode was a total victory.
2.) Really precious moments almost always cost you something. You do not get "the buzz" of this sort of trip for free. This has been a lot of work.
3.) All it takes is one significant incident, either good or bad, to transform an entire day.
4.) Flexibility is mandatory. You can't do this stuff with a fixed schedule.
5.) There is beauty in everything, even the stinkiest Mexican hell hole motel. Sometimes, it is the "strangeness" of a situation that defines its beauty, not simply the "pleasantness" of the situation.
6.) Americans often live in an insulated bubble that is oblivious to the rest of the world. America assumes that the rest of the world desires what it does in order to gain happiness. Do our beautiful houses and automobiles make us happier? I do not think so.
7.) You cannot fully Live unless you get into the world. Sometimes "living" means sleeping in a slum.
8.) Fear is fun. It stimulates. It rewards when you overcome. We have a tendency to pay too much attention to our fear. This keeps us from Living. Our minds amplify our discomforts and we retreat into our comfort zones because of fear. That is not Living. That is bondage.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly...
THE BUZZ AIN'T FREE!
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